Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Knock knock Who's There Doctor Doctor Who? Wrong, it's Dr. Doozer, you have AIDS

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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a muslim walks into a bar, he then remembers his religion forbids the drinking of alcohol and walks back out

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad event that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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poop.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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How much stuff would a stuff muff huff if a stuff muff could huff stuff? Whole dang lotsa

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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