how much blow can charlie sheen hold up his nose? enough to kill Two and A Half Men

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the puppy have a sticky tongue? because its owner was abusive and made the puppy lick peanut butter from his balls

thumb_up thumb_down -41

There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +168

What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What comes after 8? A: 9

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the baby smoking? He was locked in a hot car.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops