hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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How do you see a black man in the dark? You dont

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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a

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Women's rights.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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