Why did the black guy punch the Mexican guy? Because they were in a fight.

Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

Duke: Hi Sally: Hello Duke: Nice weather huh? Sally: I couldn't tell ya duke, I'm not a meteorologist.

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

Hey buddy what's up? I justed wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tonight. Just call me and tell me what you wanna do. Ok that's it see ya. Oh yeah! I gave your mom an STD...sorry dude...it just happened. I hope your dad isn't mad. Again, really sorry. Ok bye.

Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

What did John F. Kennedy say to Kurt Cobain? Nothing. They never met.

What's brown and sticky? a stick.

Why do immigrants move to the UK? To seek a better life

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

A duck walks into a doctor's office, and says 'Quack!' The doctor is offended and resigns.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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