What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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Why was the gorilla crying? His brother died

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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What is marios favorite type of jeans? a brand that he enjoys and feels is comfortable in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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