Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did the little girl who's parents died in a car accident get you her birthday? Foster Parents

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.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

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why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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President Donald Trump

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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ask me if im a door yes

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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