Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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Women's Rights Movement

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so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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Keanu Reaves

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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A woman wears a dress.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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The Morman Religion.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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joke

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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