Keanu Reaves

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

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A woman wears a dress.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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joke

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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