Seriously, all your new jokes are shit. They are either repeats of stuff previously on the site or they are just so unfunny you'd struggle to get a sympathy laugh from your mother. Please actually take the time to think of something worth submitting or do not submit at all. We know people with no arms can't knock on doors enough now, and many things are better than the holocaust. Do something new!

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Yo Mama!

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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gay porn...

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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