How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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Woman rights.

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You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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joke

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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