Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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I am dyslexic

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bologna

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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John Cena for president

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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