what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Cows are land manatees.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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Why do black people play basketball? Because they can join their friends in playing an extremely fun and calorie-burning sport.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops