There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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How come the black man couldn't be seen on film? He could be seen on film, he's not a vampire.

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops