Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

A man walked into a bar and said ow.

Knock, Knock The door's open

Dislike this!!!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

Jon has 40 chololate bars, he eats 32, what does he have now? Diabetes.

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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