Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

Why was six afraid of seven? Fishsticks

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't make sense Your cute

someone called a frog a frog

what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

a Jew had a small nose

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

Women's Rights

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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