what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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my bubbles!

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 4 beers. The bartender replies, "One at a time, mate, will that work for you?" To which the man replies, "No", leaves, and drives his 1994 Toyota Corolla off of the road into the pit of a volcano.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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