What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

The pig walks up to the buture the' The buture sloters him!

A white man and a black man are standing on the edge of a 20 story building. The view from up there is rather nice.

Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a sludge hammer, the other is a watermelon

Hey man how was your trip? great!!! It blew my mind

Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

17

What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

What's red, blue, green, yellow, pink, purple, orange, teal, light green, brown, black and white? Colours, except for black and white, for they are the absence and amalgam of all colours, respectively.

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...