How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

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Why's the sun red? It's not it's orange.........retard

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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GIVE

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They enjoy a few quiet drinks while watching a rugby match between Italy and France on the big screen, which is why they came into this particular bar. The Englishman hopes Italy will win, the Irishman is also supporting Italy while the Scotsman is up for France. France wins the match and the Scotsman says "Good game lads eh?" The others agree.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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