Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What's worst than getting glass stuck in your foot? Rubbing lotion on a fork.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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