How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

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Women's rights.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

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Q: What's green has four legs and would kill you if it fell off a roof and hit you? A: A pool table.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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