Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravitational force acted upon the monkey who was not holding on to any branch.

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What do you call a guy who has sex with kids? A child molester

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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Why did the blonde kid lose the spelling bee? Because she misspelled a word.

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Why couldn't the dog fetch? It's back legs were useless after it got run over.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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A guy walks into a bar. Ouch

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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