What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -71

hi hi strager danger

thumb_up thumb_down -79

What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

hi, im sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops