All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Q: What did the pope say to the prostitute he passed in the street? A: Bath & Bodyworks are having a sale

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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how do you kill a bear. -you shoot it.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Two blondes are sitting in a car. They took a drive and later enjoyed turkey sandwiches at the local eatery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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GIVE

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Whats Obama's last name?

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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a Jew had a small nose

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Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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