Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't andrea clean the dishes? She had no hands

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -107

what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down -111

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +170

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Invisible Television.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +40

a Jew had a small nose

thumb_up thumb_down +28

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops