what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

Knock Knock. No one answered, as the person of residence was not home.

Dislike this!!!!!!

Women's Rights

did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

how do you make a joke act like yourself

How did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Scarlet fever or meningitis.

What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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