Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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boys

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, grass is green, sky is blue, dirt is brown, fire is orange, water is transparent, powder is white

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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When life gives you lemons....you probably just FOUND lemons...

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Your moms so fat She should get some help because there's nothing good about being fat

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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a man walks into a bar. He left after he drank two beers. Someone pulled his pants down and he didnt notice. when he got home he realized his pants were gone. He returned to the bar to search, but it was a metal bar, and he was fairly stupid. please dont laugh

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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