Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

Knock knock Who's there? A friend. But I don't have any friends.

What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

here's a joke a black man goes in a store and buy something

Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

Why was school cancelled? Because the school was bombed.

What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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