Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

thumb_up thumb_down +76

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

How was copper wire invented? Probably some scientist did that

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a horse with no eyes? A horse with no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's the difference between shoes and a ginger? Shoes do the kicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, knock Who's there? Landlord; you've been evicted.

thumb_up thumb_down

Boom.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What do you call it when a homosexual from spain is forced to have sex with a 400 pound black man? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One, possibly two if the lightbulb is high up and someone has to hold the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops