What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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Did you see that picture of Helen Keller's dad? Yes. She didn't.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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what did micheal jackson give to a young boy? -nothing micheal jackson is dead

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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what is brown with wheels? a potatoe, i was just kidding about the wheels

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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