What did Luigi say to Mario? You look like a fat Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." and then the mushroom walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man go to the gym? Because he was severely fat and would live a short life if he didn't lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops