Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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Roses are red violets are ponies I dont know what to say mircowave

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Justin Bieber

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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where was the heart of ocean found. madelain mcanns urn

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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