Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

there was once a jew

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

what do you call a black man who beats his wife, doesnt have a job and has a ton of kids? whatever his name is.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

you know what is so funny hillary clinton!!!!!!

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

Women Sports.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

What's the differences between oranges? Trees don't have doors.

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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