What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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Vaginal secretions

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

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what did the kid with poleo get for christmas. whatever he has on his christmas list because his parents feel bad for passing down the genetic information(DNA) that gave him poleo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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It's long!

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops