Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -59

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

thumb_up thumb_down +104

What?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Q.) What did the boy do when he got home? A.) He repeatedly cried due to the large amount of bullying he faced at school. He had constantly tried to contact his parents and teachers for help yet no one would listen. The boy was found dead in his room the next day. Poor kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

240

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i said wut wut in the butt!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops