Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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You know whats funny? Things that aren't listed here.

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Limericks are fun, I have an orange Nothing rhymes with orange crap orange

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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(insert antijoke here

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Whats the difference between a chicken? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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whats annoying and black? black people

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano when my arm heals? Doctor: Did I not tell you? You insurance didn't cover the cost of this operation. Your arm is never going to be healed!

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops