How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Why did Nicholas Cage cross the street? To steal the Declaration of Independence.

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Why was the manspenis big Cause he was a lucky bastard

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GIVE

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Why did Windows crash ? F*ck Windows, that's why.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the cop say to the robber? You have the right to remain silent

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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