teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Hi everybody, it's me!" So everybody turns round. But it wasn't him.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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What did Justin Bieber get for Christmas? An iPod Touch and a few nice sweaters.

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If at first you don't succeed.... maybe skydiving isn't for you...

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Rose is Red Violet Blew Mustard is in Clue … What about Moni-… ahhh my eye!

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What's worse than Hell? The Holocaust.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

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What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why did the U.S.A. vote in a black president? Because racial prejudice is a thing of the past and the U.S.A. is a liberal and progressive nation.

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(insert antijoke here

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A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

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When life gets you down, make a comforter.

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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How do Elmer Fudd take a shower? Without a shampoo, he's bald..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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