Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

What does two plus two equal? 4

A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

women sports....

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

What did Hitler say to Obama Nothing because Hitler is dead.

What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

why did the one armed, bearded man, in a wheelchair go to the mall ? He wished to purchase yogurt and Tiger woods 2007 for the ps2

Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

the WNBA

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

What made the lady dance? Bandz!

how bout that airplane foood!!!1

roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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