What's funny about water, food, and shelter? Nothing, those are essential necessities to live your life, unless you have chains attached to your ankles with bricks on the other end and you're thrown in the middle of the ocean with no chance what so ever

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I'm so full I could stop eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I am dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

404: Anti-joke not found.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops