Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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Obama being reelected.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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Aww good to see you looking positive! He said to the boy dying of HIV

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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people say thers saftey in numbers, try telling that to 6 million jews

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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