Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Snapple fact #572: You're a terrible person.

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Womens rights

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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Whats worse then losing your phone? The Holocaust

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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What's worse than finding ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees

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A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

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Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

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What came first?....the woman or the sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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