What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

Hahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahaahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaahahah :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I screw with you Hahahahahahahahahaahaggahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahah

What's worse than scraping your knee? Getting a needle shoved into your penis and the needle hitting your scrotum so that you are in serious agony for hours and finding out you cannot have kids because of it.

Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

Knock Knock. Come in.

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Pizza guy. Just a minute, I have to grab my wallet.

-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

What do u call two mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!

You know why the economy is so bad? Years of giving into corporations instead of local business. This moves the profits to the owner of the company instead of mom and pop who will be giving it back to the local community.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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