Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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24... wait i thought of something better than 24... let me hear it... 25!!!!

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Extra extra read all about it dunkin donuts has now been named dunkin pigs..a cops favorite hang out.

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Whats long and black? The unemployment line

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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How do you save a black person from drowning? Take your foot off his head.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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