what do u do if a women serves you lunch in the living room? u tighten the chain!!!!!!

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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Why is the sky blue? Because bicycles have two tires

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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