What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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