Mitt Romney is in the mormon mafia has magic underpants and invented Obama Care but he still lost to a Black guy Who is a fine president.

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

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The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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