How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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mark lawson likes boys

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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