Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Religion.

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how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have down syndrome duh dusfy druah

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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