Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Why doesn't the boy get anything for Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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refridgrator

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if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

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A dirty joke Three white horse's are walking down a trail one falls in the mud

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends. How hard can you throw?

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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Q. Why did the triceratops die? A. A giant meteor hit him.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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Lil Wayne's rapping career

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Why did Bob wear a jumper and trousers even though it was a very hot day? Because he is an idiot.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Charles. Charles who? It's your brother Charles. I came straight here from the doctor. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 testicular cancer.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three wars.

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Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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