What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? Well, he's dead.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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