A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock JUST OPEN THE FLIPPIN DOOR ALREADY! I DON"T NEED YOU TO KNOCK AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF EVERY TIME YOU COME TO MY HOUSE!!! Jeez...seriously

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +10

the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mums a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man makes a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops