Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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I am so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

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Face...the other white meat!

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Oh s***

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Several men are in a bar a tall white man named James orders a round of shots for all of the people they all have a fun time untill James gets into a car with Derrick who is not sober they drive right into a sick childrens hospital and cause many frantic wild fires throughout the town. They all end up in jail for an unrelated cause

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

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mark is life

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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