What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

thumb_up thumb_down +42

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What does Snoop Dogg eat when he's sick? Chicken Noodle Snoop.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do a carrot and a kangaroo have in common? Nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

thumb_up thumb_down +30

how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: whats worse than being in the car for 1hour A: being in the car for 2 hours Made by: grant chapman:)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops