How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

010010101210001010 You dirty girl

thumb_up thumb_down -29

homosexual rights to marriage

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your momma's so stupid, her IQ is below average.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did matt die? He had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops