i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Why didn't children go to their grandma at summer? Cause, they were hit by a car earlier that year and they are dead.

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Q: What does a giraffe say to the other giraffes? A: Nothing, giraffes do not have vocal cords and are therefore unable to make any sounds, much less speak; not to mention a giraffes brain is far to underdeveloped to talk in a spoken language.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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